The Snark | The Social Triangulation Algorithm (2): Him

Here We Go Again!

Last time, we watched her run the bar-nightlife algorithm: standing solo while her boyfriend fetched drinks, and calculating how to deflect the inevitable chaos agent. But let’s flip it. What happens when she steps outside with her drink to “call her mother, I’ll be back in a few”, leaving him at the bar… and some cute girl approaches him?

This is a very different program. He didn’t make the move – the move was made on him. Suddenly, he’s not just waiting with a vodka soda in his hand. He’s juggling the girlfriend, the stranger, and his own ego.

Step One: The Incoming Female

Women approach less often, so when they do, it lands harder. A simple “hi” could be nothing… but “Not seen you here before” is definitely a probe. He clocks instantly: this is interest, not small talk.

Step Two: The Girlfriend Variable

She’s outside. For however long the call lasts, he’s technically unaccompanied. But the algorithm reminds him:

• If girlfriend = jealous/protective, any hint of engagement is dangerous.

• If girlfriend = chill/confident, he has a little more leeway – but not much.

• If girlfriend = observant, even surface-level friendliness might be replayed later with, “So… who was that?”

Step Three: Risk vs. Reward

• Reward: A tiny ego boost, maybe a fun story.

• Risk: Girlfriend walks in mid-convo. Fallout potential: very high.

• Time window: Real risk the window is too short to “explore” anything without exposure.

Step Four: Output Options

Polite Neutral (Safe Play):

• “Hey. Just grabbing drinks for me and my girlfriend – she’s outside.”

• Outcome: Clear, loyal, no drama.

Ambiguous Friendly (Risky Middle):

• “Hey, yeah, first time here.”

• Outcome: He thinks it’s harmless small talk. Girlfriend returns, sees him chatting, decides it looks flirty. Possible Uber fight later.

Ego-Driven Flirt (Chaos Mode):

• “Yeah, first time. You come here often?”

• Outcome: Great five seconds for his ego. Potentially catastrophic for his night.

Why Writers Should Care

This is the mirror of her triangulation.

• She’s expected to handle approaches with social grace.

• He, when approached, is often less rehearsed – so missteps are easier.

• Both run the same algorithm in theory: Stranger + Partner + Risk = Response. But the stakes feel different depending on who’s doing the approaching.

The fun for fiction? Put them in parallel. Show her deflecting a guy at the bar… and then, later, him fumbling when a girl does the same. Readers will eat up the symmetry (and the fallout).

Closing Snark

The drinks may be the same, but the algorithm isn’t.

• Her challenge: deflect with just the right tone.

• His challenge: survive the rare approach without looking guilty.

And both of them know the truth: the Girlfriend not the only one being triangulated.

The Snark