The Snark | Goodbye Moon? (2024 YR4, part 2)

When the Moon Decides It’s Had Enough

Well, folks, brace yourselves. The asteroid 2024 YR4? Yeah, it’s probably not going to hit Earth. But, hey, why not spend a few minutes entertaining the delightful thought that it might?

Need a more realistic cosmic drama? You bet. And who’s the star of this chaotic show? That’s right, our old friend 2024 YR4 - it has a 3.8% chance of impacting the Moon in 2030. Oh, but don’t worry, scientists tell us it won’t actually affect the Moon’s orbit. You know, because science. But let’s be real here - when have we ever trusted that?

Maybe it won’t affect the Moon, but hey, maybe it’ll throw it into a nice, chaotic wobble just for fun. A little shaking up of the cosmic order never hurt anyone, right? Who needs the certainty of science when we’ve got a 3.8% chance of the Moon turning into a cosmic pinball machine and wreaking absolute havoc on everything beneath it? Imagine, the Moon, our shiny, reliable satellite, starts wobbling like a drunken top, spinning out of control and throwing off chunks like it’s cleaning out its cosmic attic. It’s like a high-stakes game of Jenga, except with a whole lot more celestial body destruction and a lot fewer rules (or survivors).

The Moon: Not Your Average Space Rock

Let’s think about this for a second. The Moon has been hanging out in the night sky for billions of years. It’s been our constant companion, even inspiring the occasional romantic cliché and way too many Pink Floyd albums, and the unforgettably annoying children's book, ‘Goodnight Moon.’ But now? Now, it’s having a moment. Imagine the Moon, after years of just hanging there, calmly watching Earth, suddenly thinking: “You know what? I’m bored. Time for a dramatic exit.”

If 2024 YR4 - the space rock we’ve been very casually keeping an eye on - impacts the Moon, and it causes the Moon to tremble, it’s like the universe just gave us the worst possible upgrade. Forget the quiet, peaceful sky. Now we’ve got a lunar apocalypse on our hands. Pieces of the Moon, big and small, begin breaking off and hurtling towards Earth in what can only be described as the worst celestial debris shower since... well, ever.

You know that scene in The Time Machine (2002), when the moon shatters into bits and floats ominously in the sky? Yeah, well, hold onto your hard hats, because we might be living that very scenario. Only this time, the Moon isn’t just a tragic symbol of humanity’s mistakes - it’s a dangerous ticking time bomb above us.

Wobble, Baby, Wobble: Paris, Please Stand By

Picture it. One day you’re walking through Paris, gazing up at the Eiffel Tower and enjoying the general Parisian charm of overpriced coffee. And then - BOOM. The Moon’s wobble kicks into overdrive. Next thing you know, the Eiffel Tower has been flattened by a massive chunk of space rock. Don’t bother making a reservation at the café for dinner - there won’t be one. Maybe you’ll get some chic new Parisian debris to add to your Instagram story instead.

And don’t even get me started on your parked car. One moment, you’re thinking about how nice it would be to take it for a spin, and the next, it's flattened under a hunk of Moon rock. I’m sure insurance companies will be delighted to cover your “moon rock collision” claim. "Is that under acts of God or acts of very confused space debris?"

The Never-Ending Moon Shower: A Real Cosmic Bummer

But wait, there’s more! As the Moon continues to wobble, maybe bits of it keep falling. And we’re not talking about the occasional pebble-sized chunk. No, no. We’re talking about full-on house-sized pieces of lunar rock coming down like an inconvenient, never-ending meteor shower. One day, your favorite restaurant is there, the next, it's gone - destroyed by a chunk of Moon the size of a handbag.

Picture it. One minute, you're sipping your overpriced latte on a perfectly normal Tuesday, and the next, a Moon rock the size of an avocado comes crashing down, flattening your entire block. Was it your lucky day? Not so much. But that’s just the joy of living in a world where cosmic events like this can happen when no one’s paying attention.

And let’s not forget about the tiniest bits of debris. They’re the real troublemakers. They come down like a rain of oddly-shaped gravel, causing chaos in places no one thought would be affected. That cute new herbaceous border in your garden? Might not be there tomorrow - it’s been repurposed as an impact crater.

The Upside of Moon Chaos: Apocalypse With a Side of Fun

Now, some of you might be sitting there, shaking your head and thinking, “Well, this sounds terrible,” and to that, I say: You’re absolutely right. The slow-grinding end of the world is often a terrible thing to think about. But you know what? It makes for one hell of a story! I mean, how many times in your life will you get to write about chunks of the Moon raining down on Earth and causing total chaos? Talk about raising the stakes in your plot.

For those of you who love a good disaster movie, well, this is your golden ticket. It’s like Armageddon, but with fewer astronauts and a lot more Moon debris. Who doesn’t love a world where chaos reigns and everything you know and love is constantly being wrecked by falling space rocks? It’s like living in the world’s most expensive game of Jenga - but without the satisfaction of pulling out the last block.

What This Means for Writers: Have Apocalyptic Fun!

As writers, we’re often told to write about the “ordinary” human experience, but let’s be real - what’s more human than the freaking Moon starting to fall apart and raining down on us? When your characters are facing an asteroid impact, or surviving the crumbling remains of Earth, what do they do? Do they try to keep their lives intact, or do they let the absurdity of the situation drive them into chaos and absurdity?

The truth is, apocalyptic scenarios - like chunks of the Moon falling from the sky - offer endless possibilities for tension, drama, and a bit of dark humor. Just imagine the dynamic between characters caught in a world where one minute everything’s fine, and the next, they're dodging pieces of space rock like they're in a giant, cosmic dodgeball game.

So, write the chaos, embrace the weirdness. Your characters don’t have to survive a meteor shower without a little fun, a little humor. Maybe their car gets flattened, but they still manage to make it to the bar, right? After all, if we’re all going down, we might as well go down with a good story - and, hopefully, a drink in hand.

The Perfect Playground

The Moon’s wobble and subsequent shower of lunar debris might sound like the worst cosmic event to ever hit Earth - but, as a writer, it’s the perfect playground. Embrace the absurdity, the chaos, and the utter unpredictability of it all. Life’s messiness is what makes great stories. And if a piece of Moon rock happens to crash through your roof while you’re writing? Well, then you’ve got one heck of a plot twist on your hands.

The Snark